Emotional Issue

Emotional issue has been following me all along this time. I don’t know how that this kind of stuff can possibly (keep) happen (-ing) to me. You know I have been telling you about all these things I’ve been dwelling, maybe you are so done with this, but don’t be! We (I) can’t avoid it (the emotional side of us). I have been trying so hard to deal with this for sure, yet it still keeps hunting me like I don’t know, trapped in me. Not to mention such moment I was supposed to have badly years ago yet I didn’t feel this much (I WASN’T a sort of feeler). Yet now I feel like there’s a hole in my heart, remorse, sadness, feeling of being unfulfilled, damn it! here I go again!

Ok, I suck at this stuff! I have to admit, I have issue of dealing with feeling or emotion or whatever. I don’t know, maybe this is it, the age it comes to me that I have to figure something out; where I am, where I am not supposed to be, and where I am heading to. I know I’m probably in a mess that I hardly can clean that up. Damn it!

Now I begin not to be sure for how long this stuff will last. It seems that this effort I have been doing means nothing when the time of this matter comes up as I am all alone, and maybe when I’m thinking about that; thing I suppose to leave behind. I don’t know.

All I know certainly is I can’t stop finding the way; hopefully after all I can come to the thing that I begin to realize that this severe condition will make my next precious happy moment more meaningful. I believe that happiness will have its true meaning once you have passed through (felt) the sadness in the very first beginning. Yeah, happiness means nothing without sadness at the first place, good will never be “good” without evil that can define it. Maybe this is what I have to get through first before I have my turn of happiness much more meaningful. Damn it how many times I have been saying this!!!!!