I Discovered Life is a Series of Misteries

I guess it is quite true that life begins after college and works in a mysterious way afterwards. As it is for me, a lot more interesting things have been happening ever since. You know, like you got your first job, earning your own money, paying for your expenses, taking care of yourself. It is like having the power, the authority, and the full control over your own life. For some other, it is perhaps way more than that. And surely life can give you surprises.  

As life after college continued, I had never got a legally binding job until the one in the hotel, The Trans Luxury Hotel. I mean, seriously, I could hardly say that teaching only four times a week was a real job. Although I have to say that teaching is an interesting job, if not the most profit-making. But that is not really why I’m writing this post today. I’d like to just share that with adulthood, come fun, scary things. 

 

Getting back to my first job in the hotel (which I wasn’t sure what position I applied for), but I was placed as a telephone operator that they call STAR back then though. I mean, my most favorite newspaper I applied to, turned down my application as a journalist at the most heartbreaking way (or not). I have to be honest I was a bit of an opportunist who would trade idealism for the regular buck wired monthly into my account at that time.  And I should say I wasn’t so proud of it. An English Literature graduate whose dream was to become an editor or a lecturer got stranded in hospitality industry that he knew nothing about.  And there was this slight thought in the back of my head that screamed like a dumb telling I had shut the door to my ideal career path and headed toward the very wrong direction (to my very least understanding). So much for the power and authority over my own life!

But then again, life works in a very mysterious way. I probably have not been heading towards the direction I previously navigated to. But something whose value is way more than just a job and money and power happened in the very place I said I was stranded in. It started out with a joke. Then it continued with the intense texting, talking, we finally had a date. Never crossed my mind that I would ask her to be my only life companion who I‘m profoundly in love with. Taking that job was the best decision I had ever made. 

It has been around two years now. Being with her is the happiest moment. It’s the feeling of being entrusted with a confidence to overcome whatever life throws, an assurance that you’ll get through, you know. I love it when she’s talking funny, when she’s laughing, when she’s being serious, when she’s walking down the lobby of the hotel with her uniform, when she’s mad (although sometimes she can be pretty scary). I love it that we go to places together that she’s a great company. Time flies when she’s around.

So after all, as I said, life offers you so many unexpected, interesting (even amazing) things to live through that come far out of the plan. Had I got the job I thought to be the most ideal, I would have never met and known her the way I met and knew her now. Sometimes the egotistical feeling of being powerful over your very own life can be a misleading thought. Sometimes, your grand design for life is not really the only way that can take you to happiness. Life works in a mysterious way, and if you are brave enough to be in it, you will uncover the best out of it.

Defining Who You Are

Who are we? Really? I mean, we can pretend to be the one with the mask that no one will never imagine that we’re wearing one. In one moment you are the ugly duck trying to fit herself to the rest of the beautiful community in the pond. At the other, you might feel, no! That you’re the center of everything, the earth is rotating with you being at the center of it.

You can be a wolf disguising himself amongst the sheep. However, you never realize that you’re playing somebody else. Here you say A, there you say B as long as you go along the population you’re in. Hypocrite never comes self-admitted. They just go on, blend in, and follow the group. No complaint ever spoken, no act ever done that gets himself the most distinguished one.  Since they are afraid, afraid that when the sheep take off their fur clothes, and the disguising wolves have to do so, they will reveal themselves. When that happens the wolves will always be the wolves, either they will attack the community that has put trust on him, embraced him as one of them even though they had got suspicion from the very beginning you joined the club (being a hypocrite themselves), or they will simply walk away, realizing that they are best left alone.

Wolves are the lone creatures, walking the night seeking for company that they’ll never find. They just howl towards the full moon at the edge of the cliff. The moon is his only company. Telling her how agonizing it is being a loner and being himself in disguise is the cure for his agony, the bliss that they can get the most. They never expect more than howling towards the moon, when she’s full, when she’s at her best to embrace him the way he really is. No pretense, no complaint, no hypocrisy, just honesty and big heart to accept the truth to embrace him when he’s not being someone else, nothing but himself. So, who are we, really? If we have to change our color every time we come to the different trees.        

Ariel Peter-porn V.S. Parents’ Anxiety

This whole thing about peter-porn and all really gets everybody. It’s all over the news for Christ’s sake! Here’s what I think. Lots and lots of people do the protest demanding that this Ariel goes to the jail, which has been done anyway, and the ladies in the video to join him there (but not to make another video of course!). They think that this guy and his video destruct the young generation’s morality. They’re afraid that their sons or daughters will imitate what he’d done. They burnt the picture of these one-hit-fame porn stars, wrote at the paper that they have to go to the hell. I mean, man! It’s what makes your young generation wants to take a look at the video at the first place. You make it all over the news, make it bigger that what it really is. You do the sudden inspection over your young students’ cell-phones to check if they keep the video. And it involves the police. Jeez! You just treat your beloved young generation as a criminal. And you think that that’s what helps! Please?! You don’t trust them and you don’t even try to help them earn your trust. Instead, you frisk them, at schools! 

And one thing about the extreme protestors; it’s like they never made one single mistake in their lives. Just because somebody made a mistake (a horrible one actually), it doesn’t mean that you are the most saint person in the earth that gets every right to judge and send them to hell. I, instead, begin to think that maybe they just look for someone to blame for their worries and even failure of educating, teaching, or guiding their children to differentiate what’s right from wrong. If they think that they’re successful to guide their children those moralities they hold on to, they actually don’t get to be extremely worried that they will imitate that stupid defiant sex preference. You don’t get to worry since you and your children have been gaining high conscience, they know exactly what to do, what to follow or not. You just believe in your kids. However the world shakes, you guys just stand still.

This thing doesn’t mean that I agree or justify what Mr. Peter-porn did, or that I’m a big fan of his, u-uh no, just so you know. It’s still stupid in so many levels, what he’d done. But, it’s just I believe everyone makes mistakes but they still get to have a second chance, you know. It’s all.

Teaching? Why not!?

“Hey what’s up?”, “What are you up to, now?”, “What have you been doing recently?”, “How’s your thesis?” Ah… those questions again. Seriously, give me a break! It’s not that I don’t want to catch up. I mean, it’s just there was nothing a lot had been going on in my life recently, you know? I would just sit around watching DVDs, listening to the music from my computer, playing that stupid card game. The questions and the fact that I actually got nothing to do were really bugging me. If what you do is just get up from the bed and know exactly that for the next 18 hours you’ll get nothing exciting to do and eventually will end up on the same bed with the same feeling; useless, you’d really want say the same thing as I do. And the most awful thing is that I haven’t got any new direction where I’d bring my thesis. And there was no willingness to carry it on. And Jesus!  Make them stop talking ‘bout this peter-porn thing all the time. Man, he’s a f*cker! Yeah, yeah, here I go again, a whining b*tch mode ON! Pardon the language, Sir, Ma’am!? 

But, anyway, thanks to my friendship with my senior in debating club I got a job to apply to. Just like an unlikely angel she suddenly texted me letting me know that the place she’s been working in as a teacher happened to need new teachers. And boom! I got to come in. I got to get thru’ the application letter things, interview and set of tests of course, (you know the basics) but somehow I passed them. Now I got the break! Ha ha ha     

It wasn’t my first interview of course; I’ve been in several interviews for my scholarship, albeit all of them just brought me failure, alas! But not this one, I was worried that I was going to be nervous and suddenly do some sort of stupid things like breaking something in the room, crying, or peeing on my pants. But thank God it didn’t happen. In fact it went well, not really the way I’d imagined before but it went well. I like the place, it’s clean, not as big as my campus though but it’s a good place to begin with. I know that my desire to be a teacher will never die. Though thru’ times I’ve been doubtful, unfocused about that. I want to be a journalist, then a news anchor, then go back again to be a teacher, then change again, but somehow it eventually will end up to being a teacher. I am not really certain about why I end up at that profession. Maybe it’s simply because I just get no any other talent?! Laugh at that!

My first day in a classroom with a bunch of adult students wasn’t really bad. In fact it was fun. I honestly had prepared for the worst. I’d imagined several possibilities. You know, since I’m a way younger than they are, I imagined it’s going to be hard to earn some respect, that they probably will despise me, underestimate me! Not that I hold on to a bad prejudgment, no. It’s more like I want to be well prepared for the unpleasant things. And I know it’s seriously hard to just accept that a supposed-your-son-or-brother kid teaches you, not to mention that some of you are the secretary, or the staff of this company and that company and all. But then again it’s nothing like I’d imagined before. Like I said we had so much fun. We learned, me and my older students. And despite their ages, they were just like kids, you know. I could see their eyes widened as I said the lectures in English; I could see they try to grasp them, to understand them. I could tell that they put effort to be able to do the assignment I gave. And one of them asked me whether I’m married. It really amused me. 

And they wanted to go home before the end of the class. See!?

And I like my outfit when going teaching by the way. A shirt with a pair of pants and a pair lack shiny shoes. I feel like respecting myself and earning it from other people. Does it work? Well, I don’t know that, but at least I appreciate and respect myself.

So, now when I wake up in the morning, I know that for the next 18 hours I’ll be doing things in prioritized order as I just did at that moment. And I’d love to catch up with my friends about what’s going on with our lives.

Ten Things Singlehood Has Done to Deserve Hatred

Being single certainly does not always bring such happiness, if you know what I mean. Some people may sing a song about being happy as a single, but SERIOUSLY? Here, I give you some actual and vivid descriptions why singlehood does suck. And these might make you aware of disaster you are dealing with. So, let’s begin:

1. Enduring an unbearably disgusted feeling as you end up with your DVDs or Play Station at Saturday night as your best friend is hanging out with their dates

2. Suffering from self-quality degrading, since no body seemingly wants to be with you

3. Being accused as a gay for you’ve never been with any boy or girl since like forever

4. Suffering from heavy stress due to the crappy feeling of loneliness or yearning for your ex. God, this one does suck!

5. No one checking on you as you get fever or fall from the stairs and broke your leg or maybe you fall from your stupid little bike

6. No one to spend time with while skipping the tedious lectures

7. No one to hold hands with when you walk to the movie as you see some lunatic little high school students embracing their hands to each other

8. No one to call or to text to for a just trivially sweet talk till very late though you’ll be broke since then

9. No one to support you when your GPA keeps declining and be the reason you survive college

10. The last may be nasty, but no one to kiss as you feel like cherishing love, LOL…



Well, after all, d’ you still think that being single is very happy? You tell me!

Okay-okay! For the sake of balancing I’ll give ten awesome things of singlehood in the next posting, so keep on reading!


X.O.X.O.