Time Flies By: Really? Really!

There’s nothing you can do to manipulate time, to compromise with it, to extend it, to reduce it, to even stop it, so that you can remain the same staying in the state that you want to be in like forever! God, that’s a joke. It still has 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, and 24 hours in each day, and it still moves forwards with the perfectly designed and constantly moving velocity. And like I said, it’s beyond our control; you can do nothing about it. For some people their given time might not be felt enough, but for other theirs might be more than enough. Either way, as you don’t get to know how to deal with it you’ll kinda be lost in it, you know. Yeah, it’s scary! But clearly, one should get to realize how they’ve been using theirs.


It’s incredibly terrifying to know that you run out of time in the very last minute. It’s simply like you’re woken up from a very long sleep (assuming from a coma) but in a wink of an eye of your consciousness you have to go back to it till only God knows when. Jeez, that’s terrible. It’s like you have been there waiting for your train yet as it appears you miss it and you just remain sitting, watching it going away, doing nothing. You obviously know what to do, but you can do nothing, it just goes. That is when you don’t get to know how to deal with your time.


It’s just like what I felt as I woke up this morning. Normally, I would go to the bath room urinating, washing my face (if I wake up earlier, I’ll get a pray, but to be quite honest, if I don’t then I won’t), then having a cup of coffee, a very hot energizing one. Yet, different thing happened this morning; I woke up just by all of sudden. I didn’t have a nightmare, or dirty (wet) dream for sure. Though apparently, I dreamed. Yet I wasn’t sure what it was about. Just opened my eyes, got to think,

“Man, what day is today? Date? Clearly realizing it’s getting to the end of the year after seeing the digital calendar in my cell-phone”.
“WHAT? REALLY?”

The first commonly normal reaction to it was that freaking out, collecting sanity (if you still have any) and shaking head then just starting the day. Yet I just remained lying down, eyes wide opened, fully aware and completely freaking out.


Let me tell you how it felt. Physically, I’m pretty much sure that I was awake, mentally I was sort of out there somewhere, either in my dream or my reality. The only thing I was pretty much sure about was that all this time I’ve been living my time doing nothing. Like I said it’s like being woken up then put back into the same long sleep again almost simultaneously. Clearly, it’s depressing to get into the fact that you don’t get to have anything spectacular in your life, well, my life all this time. Day by day just goes by.


It just makes me think of some facts that I have to wholly and bitterly swallow which are first, I am still single and still haunted by the time-and-energy-consuming fantasy of my ex (it’s really unhealthy, and sucks but uh…); second, nothing special had happened this year, not to mention the fact that I failed two attempts of scholarship abroad; third, my GPA freely fell from the sky and I had no gut to tell my parents about that; and fourth, many other things that I find will be icky as I mention, so I’ll shut the heck up for good. For sure, those aren’t the things that you want to remember as it comes to evaluating your achievement in your time.


Well, anyhow, I kinda look over the bright side though, which is that I get to realize it quite early. I don’t get to realize it as I am forty, for example, and just see the fact that I am still single and pathetic and lonely, God! Spare me that. At least I know it now as I am what? Twenty-one? I have enough time to get prepared. So, I get up, having my coffee first, of course, then I made plans (although mostly it doesn’t work, it’s just oddly reassuring to have plans) for this remaining last month before the end of the year including the plan of making plan for the next year… So I’ll be readier now. Every second of my life won’t be futilely evaporated. I may not be able to manipulate time obviously, but I may be able to effectively use it, not to waste it instead.



"...why are you sitting around thinking ‘bout what you can't change and worrying ‘bout all the wrong things, time flying by moving so fast, you batter make a count ‘coz you can't get it back..."
So Small, Carrie Underwood.