Not a man of despair…

Well, in the previous posted writing I wrote how screwed I was, and that was that, I mean it’s true, that was what I felt. I sometimes feel like desperate, I mean God! I need to see just one hope; it’s only one (if two are too much), to ensure me to keep carrying on my life. But I couldn’t seem to see it clearly really… what I saw was my fear, doubt, desperation, brutally-erupted emotions. I mean I am doubt about what I do, what I am going to do with my life. My life was so obviously flat, I was so jaded, EMPTY, unfulfilled (exaggerating mode: ON) hahahaha.

Maybe I was just too much sentimental; maybe I was just making everything harder than what it really was. Yet you know how you feel yourself when you wake up in the morning with a feeling of, I don’t know, uncertainty, sadness or reluctance maybe. I mean it is just uncomfortable, something like heavy loads in your heart keeps following you, pressing you. You know you’ve got to fix this, you’ve got to do something, but you cannot find the way how. You don’t even know what’s wrong, but you are pretty sure that something’s wrong.

I’ve got to get up! I know that someday I somehow will pass this. I will find the answer for this. Maybe all I have to do is just being patient. People, I believe, ever felt this way in their long journey of life. Maybe this situation that make them (I) learn how to live life, and be, I don’t know, great person perhaps. Just wish me luck!