Emotions, feelings or whatever it is…

We, humans have something that distinct us from other God’s creatures, that is emotions, feelings. We might feel something (perhaps something that is beyond our control), moving up and down inside our chest, anything that can be started with the things that can be described in an effortless way, accompanied by tears, or we might find it hard to express. Happiness, sadness, fear, joy, affection, yearning, anger, loneliness, upset, being crazy over something, feeling touched in the heart or anything that might somehow overwhelm us, occupy us, take over our other gift from God; the ability of thinking using our brain.

It’s supposed to be our gift to have emotions and feeling that make us human and enable us to taste what is called love, anger, happiness, and all its friends and enjoy them. However, sometimes we might feel it’s too much; we are being turned upside down. We might feel tired of having emotions, well, let me clarify, it’s actually me who is tired of being occupied by all the emotions I have had. I feel like it would be better if I don’t have any of them. Imagining how it feels to have anger, I will feel something boiling my heart, something huge is like stuck right there in the chest of mine, it’s really uncomfortable, something that makes a load right on the chest. And it equals to any other feelings like yearning, affection to anybody that actually cannot be hold forever.

Call me desperate then it might be true. Call me sentimental then you are safe. In the age of mine I am feeling so over this feeling; feeling yearning to the thing or someone that may not come and that you can’t hold them forever, angry to the thing that on that I actually can’t take control, feeling alone while surrounded by crowd, feeling unfulfilled but you don’t really know what is missing. I can easily get taken over by what I have in my chest rather than in my head, I guess that is why I have this notion; about having no emotions. Maybe someday I will take back the notion, I will probably desperately want to have those back, but now it is just too much exhausting for me and even getting close to something like hurting.

Perhaps you have ever had this in your life, and the worse is you ending up alone. I cannot really give the thing that can make you better in your heart for this, but I just can say that you are not alone in this. I guess there is nothing more relieving than having somebody to know how you feel and share it with them.